I have neglected my blog. Sorry.

Some Nan Goldin to wake you from your delirium.

My 18th birthday is this Friday an to tell you the truth, I'm not very excited. I mean why should I be? I've had it great as a child. As of Friday, I will be a legal adult, an I'm not sure if I want to be. If anyone has a time machine, that would be ideal. I'm also melanholy because I think I took my childhood for granted. People at school are excited about being able to drink legally, but I'm not into drinking that much. I'm more interested in voting haha! I'm think I'm just afraid thats all. Afraid of change and transition.

My day

Tuesday.

8:00am - hopped on the bus, had peace and tranquility, Sia floating me away, then I had to make conversation with a boy on my bus who I find quite pretentious.

9am - 10:30am - had art. played around with my collage. My teacher is leacing us to go to Kentucky


10:45am - 11:05am: had some pizza flavoured shapes (MY FAVOURITE!!), apple poppa and an orange. Talked about schoolies accomodation and the certain posture of one of my friends.


11:05am - 12:50pm: legal studies - booklet handout...ugh. I'm sure there is a more creative way to learn about Family Law

12:50pm - 1:40pm: peanut butter sandwich, boys (I hope that doesn't make sound like a girlie girl because I'm not), english stage 2, my 18th, my party.

1:40pm - 2:30pm : Read Julius Caesar... ever tried it with an Indian accent?

2:30pm - 3:15pm: study, checked art work and watched my friends communicate in sign language

And that was my school day.

float away to some other day

Wouldn't it be sublime to fly?

Tiring Tuesday

Things that I have learnt today

• I dislike mean/vindictive/tactless people who still manage to never get caught by Karma
• bitchy people that scare people into liking them, or they are actually liked
• people who pick on one person, so that they feel good about themselves an not pick on anyone else
• people who pick on quiet people
• people who snatch
• people who are condescending, but are smart
• people who look at you like you're going to say the wrong thing or as though you've just asked them to harvest their eggs for a scientific experiment
• the horrible feeling in my stomach that won't go away

help.

Patricia Piccinini

These artworks may disturb/shock, but get over that and look at them.

...

Here are some more pictures of Italian culture

depresso moments

OK so in my depressed mood, which I'm allowed to have every now and then, I'm seriously pouring out my problems. Just imagine when you're on a plane and you're stuck next to the sobbing girl blurting out her life story... that's me. Anyway this may sound truly corny or even sad, but I have serious trouble communicating with the opposite sex. Yes... its true. They are such a different species that I just cannot figure them out, they intimidate me. You know I even have trouble making eye contact?! Yeah and it disappoints me because, I'm nearly 18 and I'm still scared of boys, and 2 I like to think of myself as a bit of a feminist, yet I put them on this stupid teen girl pedestal as though they're better than me. I'm seriously socially inept... sometimes and it sucks because to be quite truthful, and I'm not boasting, but I'm not that bad a person. I'm fairly interesting, I can hold a conversation when I'm not in the corner rocking backwards and forwards (just kidding), and I'm not scary looking either, I mean c'mon what am I doing?! I'm not living, I don't seem to have the confidence to live at the moment because I'm so frigging scared of what other people think. Woooo! Well that tired me out. Excuse me for this violent blogging outburst, hopefully you all still visit my blog after you've read this, or maybe your crossing your fingers yelling demon child at the computer screen. That however would make me feel better because then I'd know there were some people out there who are freakier than me.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Well I had a mental health day today. I work in quite a circular manner. Little things just build up and up and up until... BOOM! Anyway, what I have learnt this explosion is that I'm not sure if I command respect, so like the Y generation I'm apart of I succumb to the internet in sure of how to command respect from my peers. And this is what I found.

1. Body language is everything: stand tall, smile big and open doors for people...what?!
2. Avoid fidgety movements with hands
3. VIDEO camera yourself to pin point your mannerisms (yeeaahh... uhuh writing that one down!)
4. Appear organised with necessary paperwork
5. Dress accordingly, like you mean business (I don't think my school uniform asserts anything at all, its fairly monotonous!)

I don't I'm confused. You see I'm quite timid, I seriously don't mind not being front and centre, but I would like to be respected. I always seem to subconciously let people walk over me, and they know they can because they've either seen it happen or they have. I would just like to hold my own you know? But I'd like to be me at the same time. If any blogger out there knows how to be respected, you know where I am.

Ciao Ciao!

crazy fantasies

Bonjourno, Gutentaag, I am back on Australia soil with a big kick of jet lag. I would be putting up some of the happy snaps I took however I have seemed to have lost my connector cord. So instead, what better way to bide time than look at some outfits posted on Lookbook.

To infinity and beyond

In less than 24 hours, I will be at Sydney International airport about to start a new travelling chapter in my life. Tomorrow I am soaring off to Rome for a ten day expedition to places such as Naples, Pompei, the Vatican, Piazza Novona and then up to Munich to Dachau (Excuse my bad spelling) concentration camp. I'm expecting this trip to build, mould, shape me more, but I shouldn't expect should I? I am so blessed to be able to travel, especially in this academic year, and I'm sorry that I am going to a place that has just been devestated by an eartquake, burying 200 of their countrymen. I'm not sorry for me, I'm sorry that I'm going to their country to explore and enjoy, and people are picking up the pieces of their lives. I probably won't be blogging while I'm there because believe it or not, I haven't told my friends that I posess a blog, and I'd like to keep it that way. Hopefully though, I can upload some pictures. I hope you all are safe and well, and I will speak to you soon.

Things that may annoy me occassionaly

• Spelling occasionally wrong
• People, certain people underestimating my character without thinking that it will affect me as person
• Underestimating myself
• Being vain
• Boys who think they're better than you as the zip past clapping in a small white barina
• Tension with parentals
• My negativity squashing my positivity

BUT NOT THIS TIME (things that I enjoy)

• Going to Sydney tomorrow
• Going to Italy in 8 days
• Having some of the most endearing people around me
• Kevin Jonas! (nah I'm totally kidding, running joke with friend)
• Strong sense of self (most of the time)

Have a nice night people, thank you for making my blogging experience peachy keen :-)

River Phoenix

The HSC experience

And it's killing me

That feeling

This may sound totally corn, but I don't really give two hoots. I have just spent the evening with some lovely girls, who are my friends. I drove home with a feeling of excitement, I'm not sure for what, but just excitement, an I'm ok with that. I also realised this evening this a few things that I would like to involve in my future life: here they are, I'm gunna list them, coz I love my lists & I'm excited!

1. To be involved with someone, you must make an effort
2. You can make connections with peoples in the cinema without talking/interacting with them whatsoever
3. To fulfill your desires, you must put yourself out there
4. Take risks

The excitement is quietly edging away from my stomach and head, and I'm ok with that, because (fingers crossed) I will feel the same bout of hope, happiness, contentment, excitement in my life again, and I hope you do to :-) .

Can you see?

Exams

What did I think when I was agreeing to year 12? That it was going to be all laugh and giggles. No folks, that it not the case... obviously. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy school and doing well, but geez, wouldn't it be easy just to casually pick up a pen and write a Band 6 response? Unfortunately my reality is quite different. Anyway, my lack of blogging has been due to busy schedule and lack of inspiration. But there was a minor incident in my week this week, that didn't exactly affect me that much, but I think it affected other people. You'd think at 17-18 years old, we'd be begginning to finish up with the bitchy school girl, however that is not the case. I'm not a bitchy person, but to be quite honest I love gossip. I don't pass it on, I just like listening to it. Anyway long story short, one of my friends I think has been going through a bit of a rough patch. Boys, self discovery, I'm not sure whats plaguing her mind, but she used to sit in the group I sit with, then moved to a more like minded group. Anyway, she started calling us nerds or something, and somehow it got back to our group. Not that I said this at school, but seriously, I think I have enough self acceptance to realise that I'm a freakin nerd, and that I actually enjoy it! Knowledge is power! I can undertsand that some people go on to yr 12 because they can't find a job, or they don't know what else to do, but seriously, who gives a toss if you're a nerd in yr 12. I mean if there is a time to be a nerd at school, its in yr 12 right. And I'm actually surprised that someone may think that calling someone a nerd is offensive! Heck, its a compliment. So moral of the story... accept who you are, nerds and all.!

Brandon

Never did I think that you could actually love an artwork like I do . Just look at it, it's so close to perfection. 'Brandon' painted by Vincent Fantauzzo.

Life of a model

Tallulah Morton

I'm off to Italy and Germany in about 5 weeks. As vain as this sounds, I have been searching for certain items of clothing that I would like to wear in Europe. My major task though is to find a pair of second hand lace up ankle boots. Relentless searching on ebay have still not paid off. Here's what I admire though.

And, just a pause for though moment: if you're feeling down, or mean, gives someone a big green or a modest smile. No I'm not trying to be an angel, just a thinker.

Have a good Ash Wednesday

Zac Posen

Isn't he just epic?!

Religion.

A religion usually encompasses a set of stories, symbols, beliefs and practices, often with a supernatural quality, that give meaning to the practitioner's experiences of life through reference to an ultimate power or reality.[1] It may be expressed through prayer, ritual, meditation, music and art, among other things. It may focus on specific supernatural, metaphysical, and moral claims about reality (the cosmos, and human nature) which may yield a set of religious laws, ethics, and a particular lifestyle. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience.
Wikipedia

So I was born into an very faith based family. I have been going to Mass ever since I can remember. I remember when I was little I would get down on the floor in between the pews and I would just stare at the many pairs of feet scattered before me. Throughout my teenage years, I've questioned faith. I've questioned when it was 'totally uncool' to have a spiritual dimension in your life. (Did you know it was uncool to be religious in a Catholic school?! I kid you not. Talk about sacrilege!I question it now as well, because I'm not sure if I want to follow the Catholic faith. I like having a spiritual aspect in my life, it keeps me reasonably sane. But I'm not sure if I like the actual mass service. My mum shows so much faith, but I find it hard to take the services seriously, or religiously. If that makes me a bad Catholic, then so be it. What I'm trying to say is, is it bad to be in a religion that you just want the spiritual side of? Catholic guilt kicking in... (I have no idea what Catholic guilt is) I feel that I'm being bad, coming from such a Catholic oriented family. I don't know. I don't see myself being in any other religion, but I have shown tendencies of humanist and agnostic influences within me. Why can't you delve into all of those?

Lily Donaldson

She is cute. She is epic.