depresso moments

OK so in my depressed mood, which I'm allowed to have every now and then, I'm seriously pouring out my problems. Just imagine when you're on a plane and you're stuck next to the sobbing girl blurting out her life story... that's me. Anyway this may sound truly corny or even sad, but I have serious trouble communicating with the opposite sex. Yes... its true. They are such a different species that I just cannot figure them out, they intimidate me. You know I even have trouble making eye contact?! Yeah and it disappoints me because, I'm nearly 18 and I'm still scared of boys, and 2 I like to think of myself as a bit of a feminist, yet I put them on this stupid teen girl pedestal as though they're better than me. I'm seriously socially inept... sometimes and it sucks because to be quite truthful, and I'm not boasting, but I'm not that bad a person. I'm fairly interesting, I can hold a conversation when I'm not in the corner rocking backwards and forwards (just kidding), and I'm not scary looking either, I mean c'mon what am I doing?! I'm not living, I don't seem to have the confidence to live at the moment because I'm so frigging scared of what other people think. Woooo! Well that tired me out. Excuse me for this violent blogging outburst, hopefully you all still visit my blog after you've read this, or maybe your crossing your fingers yelling demon child at the computer screen. That however would make me feel better because then I'd know there were some people out there who are freakier than me.